Discussions on book: Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy
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Authors:
Publisher: Oxford University Press
Publication date:
ISBN-10: 0190673613
ISBN-13: 978-0190673611
Pages: 280
Book club: Marriage and marital relationships Book club: Men's club
Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy
Men are not afraid to "man up" and commit. They simply don't need to. The author means that the issue in…
Mindstrim.com
at 4pm on 4/15/2018

Men are not afraid to "man up" and commit. They simply don't need to.

The author means that the issue in the current mating dynamics that has formed is not that men are afraid of committing to sustainable relationships. It's rather devastating effect of lowered cost of real sex - access to which women control. 

What do you think about technological achievements that made sex cheaper? per author: the Pill, digital…
Mindstrim.com
at 5pm on 4/14/2018

What do you think about technological achievements that made sex cheaper? per author: the Pill, digital pornography and online dating services.

I can say about the latter one in particular that most if not all dating site have transformed into hookup places.

Book aims at writing a story about desired social change. The author considers the subject of "sexual…
Mindstrim.com
at 5pm on 4/15/2018

Book aims at writing a story about desired social change. The author considers the subject of "sexual economics" in his book.

The author claimed that his work was aided by the book The Transformation of Intimacy by Anthony Giddens.

He states that sex has become cheap and identifies the key technological "achievements" that made it so: the pill, high-quality pornography and online dating services.

Cheap sex caused massive slow-down in development of committed relationships, especially marriage.

Increasing number of women has been risking their fertility as a result, bumping up demand for infertility treatments

Cheap sex reduces motivation of men to achieve. Some stats: 39% of women vs 33 percent of men earned at least bachelor's degree (in age 25-35), more women than men in paid labor force.

He attribute the changes to technology drivers rather than political will. The changes include decoupling of sex from committed relationships and altered meaning and structure of marriage.

This is another scientist (in this case sociologist) among growing number of those who express their concerns about politicized academic culture, which slows the pace of science.

What is behind "valuable experience"? Mixed memories and expired time ...
Mindstrim.com
at 3pm on 4/14/2018

What is in the end (of such relationships)? "Mixed memories and expired time".

"Valuable experience" - many are trying to call it ... which is sounding more like a joke ...

Independent, Bohemian lifestyle
Mindstrim.com
at 10pm on 4/13/2018

"Failure to launch" (sustainable relationships) - becoming a prominent issue for many Americans in their mid-20s - mid-30s.

Well, with the approach: first-date sex if not liking the guy much, and on second or third date if liking him more - to "keep him interested" ... And explaining the speed by overpowering chemistry ...

There is no way this all can transform to a happy marriage that the author's interviewee desires. She just doesn't seem to have clue or ever had.

This girl, the author's interviewee with a typical story, is in depression, perhaps at least partly because of missing to make a sustainable connection with a mate.

Is this really better than holding on and thinking about relationships more responsibly, and working more on self-development to make relationships interesting and fulfilling for both?

"She does not dislike her life" - I think this is a part of the problem. Without consciously disliking this status quo there is no incentive for her to seek and find a better way.

Messy confusion
Mindstrim.com
at 10pm on 4/13/2018

Swinging from "I want to get married. I want to have kids" - with one guy, to "we had fun and everything but I was like, I don't wanna marry the guy." - with just the next guy ... how can marriage work at all in perspective, how can it be motivated, how can it be taken seriously, with about 20 partners changed over 10 years, by the age of 32? And how can the opposite side be motivated in such frivolous context?